Juvieee

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Numerous times I've reiterated the futility of words, these useless tools, an impediment to potray emotions, express muses as transparent as you'll like, and this is one of the times.

I would attempt, but right now the brutal process I know will overwhelm and consume me into a deeper abyss of torment, already I am bleeding, within and without, incessantly.

I've been wondering how you managed to change my heartbeat again. I don't like being influenced, thus I've always loathed people who influenced me. I hate you influencing my heartbeat, getting into my vision and affecting my thoughts. Tell me how I can stop you from influencing my mind, how I can stop my mind from thinking about you.

I cannot conceive why loving someone to the point where you refuse to give up on the former, will equate to digging one's own grave, leading to exploitation of the soul so deeply, with not the slightest bit of remorse; such terrifying abuse.

Bestow upon me the skills, the delicate art of staying alive, when most of the time, you feel like you're bleeding to death. Sometimes I really feel like unleashing the fury, the vengeance, most of all the hurt and end it all by stabbing you to allow you to maybe comprehend a tenth of my pain. Then I'll stab myself for being such a fool for you, now and then.

I hate you. I really hate you, because you don't even give me a chance to forget you.

Even in slumber I get no peace.

For you,
I would've been foolish too.
I would've blinded myself to your visible flaws, deafened myself to protective protests of others.
Cherished and loved you tenderly.

My all,
Asking for naught, not status, nor your fidelity.
Regardless of the pain and hurt you would've inflicted, I wanted nothing more than your love, in return.

My wild child,
So forget, so forget me.
Don't think back, don't think back on me at all.
If that is what makes you happy.
Don't think, just stab.

the beauty exposed